![]() ![]() They don't want to face you any more.”įor the liar, his or her reputation is at stake. Once they are caught, compulsive liars tend to move on. If the relationship survives a confrontation, it is strong. If it happens repeatedly and you feel you can’t carry on, then it’s worth taking a risk and confronting your partner. If the person does not mean to hurt you with a little lie, you should forgive them and move on. Ignoring their words and them has more power than confrontation.īhosekar says, “One has to take a call and deal with a lie on a caseto-case basis. At the same time, everything they say has to be taken with a pinch of salt. When liars are not pressurized to confess, the number of lies could reduce. A better approach is to convey that you are aware that (s)he is lying and you don’t approve of it. In fact, the reason they lie is to avoid confrontation so confronting them with the lies usually backfires. Sawnani says, “Compulsive liars usually hate confrontation. Such a person doesn’t want analysis or discussions,” says Bhosekar. “The person may do it to avoid conflict and stressful situations that arise if the truth is told. In a relationship, it can pose a serious issue. This definitely puts you on shaky ground if you are with a boss, close friend or partner who is constantly lying to you. “The reasons for which it started may not be relevant after a point but the habit becomes so deep-rooted that its almost instinctive,” Sawnani adds. Some compulsive liars fib because they are afraid to express themselves, lack assertiveness and want to feel accepted. Some children lie to avoid punishment or when they want favours. The habit persists if the significant people in their lives continue to be critical or demanding,” says psychologist Saloni Sawnani. They feel it’s easier to make up a story than get into a fight or confrontation. “Children can also start lying if they have very critical parents. For instance, to avoid a phone call they may tell the child to say they are not at home. Children observe their parents lying about small things. The habit can be traced back to upbringing. There may be no need to lie but they cannot stop themselves. For them, telling the truth is awkward and uncomfortable whereas lying feels right. ![]() Obvious as that may sound, compulsive liars lie out of habit. At times, they could lie to spare themselves humiliation or simply because it’s easy to lie.” What makes compulsive liars hide the truth even when telling it won’t make a difference? Counsellor and psychotherapist Vinaya Bhosekar says, “People lie to impress others as it elevates their sense of self-esteem. You may know someone who lies so much that if they tell you they were holidaying in Mauritius, you presume they were at Madh Island. There is a difference between someone telling their spouse they have not put on weight and someone saying they bought a house for a crore-and-a-half when all they paid was Rs 60 lakh.
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